Seasons of Different

Transitions are hard.

Just last weekend, after spending the weekend with my sister in law and brother-in-law’s family, my son returned home on Sunday in tears. He was overcome with emotion, describing the events of his time with them. On his itinerary were stops at ice cream shops, time with his beloved cousins, and a chance to serve in the kids’ ministry at their church. He was literally a puddle of tears from the time my Honda rolled out of their driveway to the moment I put him to bed that night.

I attempted to talk through it, hoping communication would usher in calm and help him to sort out his feelings, but he had a hard time putting into words exactly what was seemingly breaking his heart and crushing his spirit. Emotionally exhausted, he finally crafted a statement that spoke directly to my own life.

"I don’t know, Mom, it was just different."

Seasons in our life can be the same way. We get used to the norm and find comfort in its predictability and convention. Unexpectedly then, something changes.

The shift can be negative. A job is lost. A family member dies. A friend walks away.

Other times we experience change that is both positive and healthy. A new career path is chosen. A child goes away to college. A new relationship takes form.

"Regardless of the emotion associated with the new dynamic, the transition mandates that we mold to a new normal, and the new normal is just that…it’s just different."

A Personal Transition

Recently we moved my Mom into a memory care facility. The decision was in her best interest as her needs were becoming too heavy for my stepdad to handle on his own. She now required around-the-clock care. It was a good solution for her, but it would require separation between herself and my stepdad. Not having memory issues himself, he was not able to follow her to this facility. He would need to find housing of his own.

The weekend that the move took place was hard. Emotions swelled as my stepdad, sister, and I dealt with our new normal. It was certainly different. Although the physical move to a new home went smoothly, the emotional toll on each of us was much more treacherous.

At the close of the weekend, as I began the three-hour drive back home, I asked God for wisdom in processing the diverse feelings that surrounded the activity of the weekend. I found myself being tossed like a buoy by all sorts of sentiments. Vivid memories of the past were hurled into my mind and I was overcome with feelings of hopelessness and sadness. It all seemed so final, as if the best for my family was behind us.

"‘Different’ was taking over and that was very difficult."

I looked to the future with grief and dismay. I was stuck in the raw emotions of it all and I needed God’s help in moving out of the darkness.

It was then when I recalled Psalm 23:4:

"He walks us THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death."

In the moments and days to come, I asked Him to show me how to move through this dark period, guiding me as a shepherd guides his sheep. Through prayer each day He reminded me of a few things to help me keep moving forward in the “different”.

THE PAST: Gratitude Over Grief

It is so easy to gaze at the way things ‘used to be’ with a sense of nostalgia that can keep us stuck. If we simply look at the past as a point of comparison to something in our present that has changed in a new and hard way, we will always be left with pain and disappointment.

"While I can certainly look to the past with great admiration, the more my posture remains in a place of gratitude, rather than grief, I avoid the grip of darkness that wants to come crouching at the doorstep of my heart."

Things are different now. That is certain, but I can still make space to be thankful for what was as I look towards what is.

THE PRESENT: Acceptance Over Avoidance

I have found that it’s really easy to try and ignore present circumstances when they are challenging and send my emotions spiraling. I do not like hard emotions and have spent most of my life distracting myself from their onset. However, I have learned that attempting to brush them under the carpet and act like they do not exist is unrealistic.

"The carpet still has a bulge and if not taken care of, either myself or someone I love is going to trip over what I refuse to deal with."

Avoiding reality does not change reality. Accepting the new norm, and asking God to help you to have the grace and strength to deal with it may not change it either, but it will give you all that you need to be able to persevere and move forward.

"Acceptance is healthy. Avoidance is a trick of the enemy that will only lead to more hurt and chaos for ourselves and those we hold dear."

THE FUTURE: Hopeful Expectation Over Hopeless Exacerbation

When our day-to-day has been interrupted by a negative, the results can feel very hopeless. The enemy whispers to our hearts that our best days are behind us. As he taunts, depression and despair attempt to move in and set up house. We have to guard against this.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”

This is a popular scripture, quoted by many in various circumstances. However, the context is even more sobering. Jeremiah was actually speaking over the Israelites as they were being taken into exile. When Israel could only see a future full of pain, God spoke promise over them.

In moments of transition, we cannot buy into the lie that life is over. Life as you know it may be over, but as long as we have breath in our lungs, God still has promise written on our lives.

"Even if the terrain of our tomorrow appears to be barren, we can trust in a God who is always bringing forth new life."

Life is hard and seasonal shifts can make it even more difficult, but as we begin to see our past, present, and future through the lens of hope and promise that only God can deliver, we will endure the tough times, celebrate the trials, and live with hopeful expectation of all that is to come!

"Different does not need to bring forth sorrow, but rather an understanding that life is changing, but our God is still moving us forward."

📝 Reflection Question:

What area of your life feels “just different” right now, and how is God meeting you in that space?