Webster defines legacy as “something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past”. In essence it is what is passed on from generation to generation.
I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy lately. As I live out my late 40’s and begin to look towards 50, I realize that I have already lived more than half of my life. I am grateful for the fact that I have not yet lost a parent, but I have found myself, in the last few years, facing the harsh reality that they are getting older. There’s something jarring about watching your parents age. I find that this season has robbed me of my norms as I have been forced into an uninvited promotion to a stage of adulthood in which I do not feel prepared. In the midst of the hard times, I have found myself slowing down and reflecting on the legacies that have been left for me and those I want to leave to the generations coming after me.
I recently spent some time journaling through my own personal legacy tree, so to speak. I made a list of each grandparent and parent in my family. I listed out the positive characteristics that made them unique. I started with grandparents and then moved on to my parents. I was able to see a family legacy of values such as a generous spirit, a strong work ethic, and faith in God. For example, both of my grandmothers were very generous. My paternal grandmother, Lou, would pay me, an overweight adolescent, for every pound I could lose. It was a commonly known fact that she paid whether I lost or not. The weight loss was the cover, but her heart to bless me financially was really the driving force. My maternal grandmother, Granna, saved up her money to purchase a piano for me for my 16th birthday. She was so excited when I came home from school on my birthday to surprise me with the gift. Both grandmothers modeled a generosity to both meet and exceed my needs and desires.
They taught me the value of giving and laid the groundwork for my own intrinsic passion to be generous with the people God puts in my path.
My next step was to list those things that I saw as patterns in myself, my parents and my grandparents that I wanted to change. I realized that I not only wanted to celebrate the positives in my history, but also address the flaws and negative tendencies that were apparent. 2 Corinthians 3:18 speaks to the truth that as believers we are being shepherded through a process of sanctification. It says, “...we are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” As Christians we are gifted with eternity the moment that we accept Jesus. However, the rest of our life journey is marked by refining of character, growing in strength and becoming more and more like Christ. This is called sanctification. If I believe in this process and am an active participant to its process, I should be a better version of the generations that have come before me. In the same way, I can expect that my children and their children’s children will continue in losing those negative patterns they have observed in me.
My husband and I spent months journaling, talking and praying through what we had seen, what we had lived, and what we hoped for the future. Our goal was to come up with 5 values that spoke to the heart of what we desired our family to be marked by. These would serve as guide rails as we navigated the twists and turns of marriage, parenting, and everyday life. We would hang them in our home and talk about them so that they would be both fresh and meaningful for each of us.
After much conversation and prayer, here is what we crafted for our Buss Family Values.
We are honest.
Even if it is hard or scary to do so, we tell the truth.
We know that this is the only way to build trust.
We take responsibility.
We are not responsible for anyone but ourselves, but we choose to admit when we are wrong and ask for forgiveness.
We are generous.
We have been given much and look for ways to meet the needs of others.
We seek to understand, rather than stand in judgment.
We desire to listen first, and ask questions.
Love prevails when others’ perceptions are considered.
We value relationships.
We acknowledge that our greatest resources are the people God has put in our lives.
We put others first and treasure those in our life, whether for a moment or a lifetime.
As I look towards the landscape of whatever years God has left for me, I desire to be more intentional. I see time as such a precious gift. I don’t want to waste a moment. May these family values help us to celebrate where we come from, embrace where we find ourselves, and help us leave a legacy for the generations to come after us.
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