The Most Indirect Direct Route

Rooted In Christ

I've often heard life described as a piece of needlepoint. On one side you see the beautiful tapestry image of a sentimental object or a poignant quote. But on the reverse side you see a series of knots and mismatched thread. Where the front appears well thought out and pleasant, the backside is marked with chaos and a seemingly lack of order or plan.

I've learned, over the last five years, that walking with the Lord can be similar to both sides of that needlepoint project. The day to day landscape is much like the underside of the beautiful finished project that hangs on your grandmother's living room wall. Life can often feel like it makes no sense. I said yes to the Lord, but somehow I've ended up with more knots and strangely routed threads than the put together and polished product that the pattern promised. What I'm coming to understand in retrospect is that God, the Master Needle pointer so to speak, knew exactly the creation He was working on all along.

I graduated from Meredith College with a degree in elementary education. I came from a long line of teachers and had really never dreamed of doing anything different with my adult career. I spent 15 years in the classroom, and enjoyed it, but always felt the nudging that there was something more. Years into my career, I was offered the children's ministry position at my church. I was ecstatic. Full time ministry was something I had always hoped for, but never thought would be attainable. The invitation to join staff was one I did not take lightly. I was both honored and humbled for the opportunity. Over the next 6 years I grew as both a believer and a leader in the organization. I transitioned from kids' minister to small groups' minister to executive minister.  I was even ordained by the church. My call to the ministry was now being confirmed by others. I felt that the sky was the limit in how God might choose to use me. I was confident that I'd serve out my adult years in vocational ministry.

Isn't that the way? Just when we think we have it all figured out, God inserts His plan. It became very clear to me after six years in vocational ministry that my time serving on this church staff had come to an end.

I'll be honest, in the year that followed my exit from full time ministry, I didn't see the rerouting as God's provision or His promise. I saw it as abandonment. All I could see was the underside of that tapestry of my life. It made no sense. It had no form. It was just a tangled web of mismatched colors and directions. I was angry with God. I was lost. And it didn't feel good.

Needing a 9 to 5 that would help pay our bills, I found a job at a local bank. For a season, this branch was my Egypt. I felt enslaved to what I considered a lesser life. I shudder now to even write such a proud perspective, but in the moment ministry lost equaled my identity lost. Thank God that He never lost His grip on me.

Over the next two years I grew in my position at the bank. I was promoted to a loan officer and was given additional responsibilities. I worked hard to get my real estate license, something I'd always hoped to be able to achieve. But it wasn't just the financial education I was receiving. There was something much deeper that God was teaching me. I was learning that ministry doesn't just happen on a church staff. As believers, we are called to minister wherever we are. For me, the call to ministry was not watered down just because my paycheck was no longer coming from an evangelical organization. Daily, if I was willing, I was given the honor of ministering to co-workers and clients. I soon had the revelation that I was still a minister. God had simply moved my location. I decided then that I was all in for wherever God wanted to use me. I thought that would be a career at a bank, but again, the Needle moved me.

After a couple of years at the bank, the principal who I had worked for out of college contacted me. He was looking for a 1st grade teacher to start the school year. He asked me if I would consider taking the role. I was initially against it. I didn't really want to go back into the classroom. Again, my tapestry looked more like a banking landscape than crayons and glue. A move back to public education felt like a move backwards. It was a no for me. But in the days to come, God changed my perspective. He reminded me that it wasn't about the role or the job, it was about the people He had for me to love on and minister to. He asked me to take care of what was most valuable to Him...people...and that in return, He'd take care of what mattered most to me.

So, you guessed it, another move. This time from financials to phonics. From approving loans to writing lesson plans. But again, God was faithful. I immediately fell in love with 14 sweet 6 year olds who were excited to learn and loved to have fun doing so. In leading them, I was given the chance to minister to their families. I was also embraced by a kind school faculty who accepted me as the "new girl" and immediately made space for me. It was a fun season. There's something about working with young children that reminds you of the simplicity of life. Again, I gave a nod to the Lord. Thank You for the opportunity. I'll shepherd it well.

But once again, there was a loop and a knot...

Spring of that school year, I learned that due to redistricting, I was going to be displaced. My principal vowed to help me find another teaching position within the county, but I was not on board with transitioning again. My own son and daughter had made the move from their base school to my school. They had found friends at this school and were settled. I did not have peace about moving them again. So I prayed and asked God for an opportunity to stay at the school. And He answered, but not in the way I expected. The only open position for the next school year would be as the Principal's Lead Secretary. The position change would also come with a dramatic pay decrease. It didn't seem to make sense...to me, but to Him it was right in line with the finished product.

So I made the move two school years ago, but asked my principal to give me the freedom to pursue a real estate career. As mentioned, I received my license years ago, but had not had the margin to begin using it. This new position as lead secretary would afford me the time to grow something I'd always dreamed of. It would also allow for my son to finish elementary school in a place where he was thriving.

You might ask, what does this life tale have to do with anything?

My journey over the past 5 years has brought me to this revelation.

God knew.

God knew what I needed to grow in my confidence of what ministry looks like, outside the walls of a church staff.

God knew the skills I required in my tool belt in order to shepherd people through the home buying process in a complete and thorough way.

God knew.

Yes, the route has felt more like a series of twists and turns, but the truth is He knew I'd need:

The heart of a shepherd who is along for the journey.

A love for education and a desire to inform and teach.

An understanding of the mortgage process

The ability to explain what seems complex in simple terms.

The gift of administration that is attuned to details,

knowing the value of  organization and structure.

Let me encourage you today, if life doesn't exactly look like the pattern you thought, God knows what He's doing. Take His hand and go along for the ride. He's got a masterpiece with your name written on it. Life will often look more like the backside of the piece of art, rather than the front. But don’t be deceived. It’s in allowing for the perceived mess of the back that God is able to do His best work. It’s in surrendering to His process and His way that we are able to finally see the full, beautiful and complete picture. 

Don't get caught up in the knots and loops. Trust the One with His hand on the needle.

You won't be disappointed.