Make Space

"Where Grief and Grace Coexist"

This last month has been one of constant challenge. As a family we have walked through some unexpected trials. The happenings have led us to take a step back and evaluate our priorities. In business, I have had my first closing to fall through right before the finish line, a heartbreak for both myself and my clients as it was totally out of our hands. As I write this blog post I’m on a train with my daughter, headed to Virginia to spend a long weekend with my parents. This trip has been planned for months and we have all been excited to have five uninterrupted days with family we have not seen in some time. As “luck” would have it, my son started throwing up moments before we were to leave the house for the station. Thus, he is at home with my husband while my daughter and I are on The Carolinian 20 headed north, one empty seat staring at us from across the aisle.  

The thing that God has been teaching me through these recent events is the fact that our hearts were designed to have enough space for both grief and grace. Throughout life, we can be put in situations where struggle and strength can be equally present. In the past, I have found myself quick to allow the difficult emotions of loss and disappointment to drown out any positive change God would desire to bring about. It has been almost as if when the first hint of hard comes on the scene I lean into those feelings fully, leaving no room for anything else. Doing so is almost a defense mechanism. What comes out on the other side, however, appears  like a six year old not getting her way. There is tantrum-like behavior, mid life style. I may not kick my feet and scream, but I anchor myself in my self-proclaimed pit, refusing to move until the circumstance resolves itself. I choose to make life miserable for those around me as I drown in my own pity, refusing to allow for joy until the emotions recede. 

But this time God has asked me to trust Him in a deeper way, not looking to my own self-protecting behaviors to keep me, but rather His mighty hand to do so. 

Isaiah 43 (TPT) reads:

“Now, this is what Yahweh says: Listen, Jacob, to the One who created you, Israel, to the one who shaped who you are.

Do not fear, for I, your Kinsman-Redeemer, will rescue you. I have called you by name, and you are mine. 

When you pass through the deep, stormy sea, you can count on me to be there with you. 

When you pass through raging rivers, you will not drown. 

When you walk through persecution-like fiery flames, you will not be burned; the flames will not harm you, for I am your Savior, Yahweh, your mighty God, the Holy One of Israel!”

As I’ve read these verses over the course of this month, it’s almost as if I have heard the mighty whisper of the Holy Spirit speaking directly to me in my situation. 

Here’s the Sarah B translation:

“Listen, Sarah. It’s me, Your Heavenly Father. You know? The One who created you? The One who shaped who you are? Remember me? Do not fear the issues you are facing. They don’t take me by surprise. You can count on me to help you navigate your way through them. You won’t drown. You won’t burn. You won’t be overtaken. I am Your Savior. Stop trying to save yourself. Give me room to do my job. ”

I have found great comfort in the promise that even though the present circumstances may feel that they are big enough to completely overtake me, they will not. He is with me. 

Even if I don’t see a way out, there will be one. He is guiding me. 

Despite believing that I will never be the same again, I will. He is protecting me. 

This fresh perspective has allowed me to see that I can feel the feelings of grief and struggle, but also trust the promise of Grace and Strength. These aren’t man-contrived responses. I cannot muster the grace and the strength on my own. However, when I confess the natural of the circumstance, but leave room for the supernatural covering of My Father, the heaviness of the situation no longer wins. In exchange, I give Him capacity to change me and I allow Him room to shift the circumstance. 

Could He do it all on His own, without my permission? Of course. He is the all-powerful God. But I believe that He is all about partnership. As I trust Him enough to walk through the fire knowing He is with me, my faith grows to a new level of intimacy, and I know He delights in that. 

Life is hard and often unexpected. Our journeys don’t come with alerts when a detour or delay is up ahead. Everyday is an opportunity for possible bad news or uninvited trouble. Jesus himself guaranteed that we would have difficult circumstances in our world. That being said, he also reminded us to take heart, as he had overcome the world. (John 16:33)

It’s in that space that I’m choosing to stand my ground, the space between the trouble and the promise. Yes, life can be tough. That is true. But we cannot stop there. We must, in those moments, take hold of the mighty Hand of the One who promises to be with us, shielding us, and keeping us from harm every step of the way forward. 

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RESPOND - I'd love to hear from you as I make space for this blog to be a safe community where we can all encourage and uplift each other. Take some time to journal these questions and if your comfortable share your thoughts!

• How do you personally cope with unexpected trials and setbacks in your life?

  
  

• When faced with challenging circumstances, how do you remind yourself of God's promises and maintain trust in His guidance?

  
  

• In what ways have you seen God work in your life during periods of difficulty, and how has this impacted your faith?

  
  

• What practical steps do you take to manage your grief while also making space for hope and grace?

  
  

• How do you differentiate between legitimate self-care and using grief as an excuse to avoid moving forward?

  
  

• What role do community and relationships play in your journey through hardship, and how do you seek support from others?